YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK:

If youve been on television more that five times describing what the tornado sounded like

 

If youre dad walks you to school because youre in the same grade

 

If youve ever been to drunk to fish

 

If youve ever had to haul a can a paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sisters honor

 

If everyday someone mistakenly comes to your door because they think you are having a garage sale

 

If you smoke during your wedding

 

If you see a sign that says 'say no to crack' and it reminds you to pull your jeans up

 

Made change in the offering plate

 

If your wife considers pizza with all the works gourmet dining

 

If your toothpick doubles as a Q-tip

 

If the directions to your house include turn off the paved road

 

If WD-40 is your idea of an aphrodisiac

 

If your dogs food dish is cleaner than your cereal bowl

 

If you have ever served road kill to your in-laws and bragged about it

 

If you have ever been arrested for public drunkeness while applying for a liquor license

 

If you use your dogs bathtub as a Jacuzzi

 

If your cruise control is a stick wedged between your seat and the gas pedal

 

If youre TV entertainment system costs more than your house

 

If you think 4O1-K is your mom's bra size

 

If you have a home that is mobile and five cars that aren't

 

If you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner

 

If talking to you next-door neighbor involves driving for 10 minutes

 

If your little girl come up to you and says "Daddy I lost my front tooth" and you say, "Baby so did I."

 

If your idea of an amusement park ride is riding up and down the escalators at the mall

 

 

WORDS IN THE SOUTH:

Yaownto

Aigh

Jaeet

Ifer

Mayonaise

Initiate